Resolutions : update

Lets start with an update regarding my resolutions which i so proudly wrote about in my last post.

Become ultra fit : I really have not become any where near as fit as i wanted to be. I still have a long way to go. On the contrary, i have let myself go and lost some of the my edge. I really have no excuses for going off the boil. I guess i was just satisfied with what i had achieved. Lesson learnt : Satisfaction is bad in some cases, we need to stay hungry and greedy to achieve more than what we think we want to really achieve what we want !

KO in boxing : I have started to learn boxing. Thats the good part. Obviously, there is a bad part too. I have not been as sincere and punctual in my efforts. Plus i had to take a break for a couple of months. Result being that i am still to enter the ring to fight. So the dream of a KO is still a bit far away. But i am sure gonna try and at least win a fight !

Relearn the guitar : I bought a new guitar ! That was the easiest part of it, so i did that very well. Bought myself a nice and expensive guitar. What have i done with it ? not much. i mean, not as much as i could have. But i am learning. Slowly and surely. I am taking youtube lessons and practicing whenever i get some alone time. There isnt much of that going around for me right now. But thats a whole different story.

Become simpler : I am proud to say that this is the one thing i have been able to successfully achieve (or so i think). I have had a transformation in my thought processes. I have learnt to be calmer, more attentive, less arrogant and overbearing in my conduct. I have started to enjoy the simplest pleasures in life now. All the bitterness and narcissism has been thrown out the window for good (i hope).

Writing : Writers block, writers block writers block. What can i do. Its the perpetual enemy of gifted writers like us :P.... Seriously speaking, i really have not been sincere enough to just sit down, think about some stuff and write it down. Even for doling out crappy writing as i pretty much always do, i need a bit of free time, time where i am completely at ease and calm. That hasnt happened in quite a while. And i dont know whether it will happen in the future or not. I am hoping this blog will be the start of some sort of a comeback.

So all in all, it has been a miserable attempt at doing things which i thought would really make me happy in the year to come. You d think that i d be very sad right about now. Fact is, i am not. I am very happy with my life right now. I have some new and scary responsibilities in my life now. But i am enjoying them all. I have realised that to be really happy in life, all you need a couple of people who really love you and care for you no matter what. Everything else life throws at you is bearable as long as you have such people around. And the thought of losing any of them is scarier than you can ever imagine. So hang to those ppl reallyyy tightly !

A lot of all this might sound really cheesy and clumsy to a lot of readers, specially coming from me. To all those people : screw you ! :P

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Resolutions

1640x1200 !!

Okay, now that we have gotten the obvious jokes out of the way, lets get down to some serious crap;my thoughts !!

So basically this is not the first time i am making resolutions for the new year. But this is the first time i am going to hold myself accountable for each one of these resolutions. I am going to track my progress as regards all of them, keep myself on my toes and not slack of as the year grows more than two months old !

So here goes, my resolutions for the year 2011

1 : Become ultra-fit, and stay fit

To be honest, this has been a mainstay in all of my resolutions till date, yearly, monthly, weekly or even daily. But this year, as some of you may know, I have made some good progress. And i am hungry for more ! So this year, i am going to make myself ultra fit. The bulging biceps and six-pack abs kind of fit.

2 : Win a boxing fight with a KO

Now that i have started to pursue my childhood fantasy of learning boxing, i am going to take this up as a serious hobby. I am going to become faster, better and stronger. And then i am going to start participating in boxing tournaments ! And when i have gotten beaten up in a couple of them, i am going to get my payback on some poor fellow by knocking the living daylights out of him !!

3 : (Re)Learn the guitar

Once upon a time in Pune, i used to play the guitar. And i used to be fairly good at it. But i let that passion go under the garb of being too busy with my academics and not really having the time for such a frivolous activity. If only i knew then what joy it can bring to an individual, i would never have allowed myself to stop. But anyways, what has happened has happened. Now i am going to relearn everything i knew back then. And then i am going to get better. I want to be able to put a smile on at least one face through my music. (Well, it wont be my music, but the rendition will be all mine !)

4 : Stay simple, stay raw

Well okay, i have taken this from an actual MTV ad campaign (pathetic me, right !?). But the thought behind it is completely mine. I want to turn myself into a simpler, more innocent and happier version of me. I want to get rid of a lot of bitterness i have picked up in the past. This bitterness has manifested itself into a lot of wicked humor, nasty opinions and some narcissism. I don't like what i have turned into and i am going to do something about it. I just want to turn back the clock to more simpler times personally.

5 : Write ya wrong

I am going to write a lot more in the coming year. Yes. That does mean that there will be a lot more crap on this blog. But thats the way its going to be. Thats the only way i can improve. I am going to do some learning on the technicalities of short story writing and then apply my own set of non-rules (its just a fancy name i have coined for not having any rules) to these learnings and come up with more crappy stories !! Just hope at the end of the year, when i write my next set of resolutions, i will be a better writer if nothing else.

Thats it. Those are the big ones. The major milestones. I will be a satisfied man if i can live up to these resolutions. Wish me luck !

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Tya valaNaa vartii

GhaDla je tya valaNa varti,
visarlo nahiye mi ajun.
Gamaavla je tya valaNa varti,
raDlo nahiye mi ajun.
BheTli hoti ji maNse tya valaNa varti,
ruslo nahiye mi ajun.

Raag nahi mala tya valaNa cha,
to tar tyacha dharma hota,
paN tya valaNa varchya 'mi' la,
maaf kela nahiye mi ajun.

Ataa maatra damNe nahi,
thakNe nahi, melo tari thambNe nahi.
Punha bheTaaycha vadaa kelaay tya valaNa shi,
Poorna kela nahiye mi ajun.


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firr se

Aadhe adhure khwab jo pure naa ho sake,
ek baar phir se neend mein woh khwab bone do.
Ro diye hum jo aasu unke liye,
unhein firr se peene do.
Beet gaye jo pal unke saath,
unhe firr se jeene do.
Karr na paye jo hum poore vaade,
unhe firr se nibhaane do.
Ek zindagani mein to nahi karr sake uspe pyarr hum,
humein ek zindagi aur jeene do !



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Hep and cool advice for the Uth !

In the same manner that people like Arindham Chaudhari share their "mantras" to success, today i ll share with this blog the basic principles which i have held very close to my heart as i wade through the shit that life throws at me !!

Do unto others as you would have others do unto them 
This is basically the definition of the typical herd mentality. If a bunch of your dumb friends are treating something in a particular manner, do the same. Dont think, dont ask questions and for heavens sake, dont contradict. You ll be dropped from the "group" like Shinney Ahuja from the household workers convention.

Never reveal what you really feel
This is just to avoid people from "opening up" to me ! I dont want to know what you think. I have enough shit of my own. Dont dump yours on me. Plus, what you may really feel or think might be really lame. Why risk embarassing yourself in front of the only handful of people who are dumb enough to tolerate you. Just not worth the risk i say, specially when some of you are really really hard to bear !

Drink, smoke, do drugs !
Go on, destroy your life. How do i care. If you are dumb enough to put that shit in your body in the first place, the world is better off without people like you. Do all of these, do them all at once, do them in large doses ! the quicker you get out of here, the better.

Always try to be "different" from the crowd.
This ones a bit tricky. Many "life coaches" will have you believe that different is better, different will succeed. Bollywood is rife with directors whose story is a bit "haTke" from the run of the mill stuff. Wonder how the same kind of crap lands up in the final print. Maybe its the editors, maybe they are the ones sabotaging these gifted filmmakers. Anyways, the point is, be different, be unique. Specially when the rest of the crowd is more intelligent and way more gifted than you are. Be dumb, be stupid. Atleast you will be able to catch the eye. A losers sad lifestory always has buyers, and a few sellers too (if ya know wat i mean !).

Dont work hard
Working hard is for workers. People with no talent. Remember, you are special. You were born with only half a brain ! Dont worry, that is still a talent. When you have sucked out all the goodies that you could "parasite" off your parents, move on to a dumb job in some dumb company. No other company is going to hire you anyways. Tell people that this has been your life long dream. Even if the money is not that good, you dont mind because the satisfaction is immense.

Dont be nice.
Throw those manners, if you have any in the first place, in the nearest dust bin you have around. Even if there isnt one, just throw it anywhere you please. Remember, you dont have manners, so no need to worry. Manners make you look ol fashioned. They dont "go well" with your recently acquired hep and dont-give-a-damn attitude. Even if other people find you rude, not to worry. Its better to let people think you are rude rather than to let them realise you are a dumbass fool; really. Ask Raghu the eternal Roadie. "He has what it takes !"


There are a lot more to come. I aint done y'all . Dont worry !




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Kaagaz ki kashtii

Ye daulat bhi lelo, ye shauhrat bhi lelo,
bhale chhin lo mujhse meri jawaani.
Magar mujhko lautaa do bachpan ka saawan, woh kaagaz ki kashtii wo barish ka paani,
Woh kaagaz ki kasthii, wo barish ka paani

Is that offer still valid ? Can i give up all that i have for something that was so simple yet so joyous ? Can i exchange all that i have gained or atleast think i have gained, for those childhood days ?

As i look at my childhood photographs, i am drowning deeper into nostalgia. I see all of my friends, all of my playgrounds and all the wonderful times i spent with the both of them. The world was such a simple place. The world wasnt really such an intimidating concept. It was just three things, the school; the home; and the playground. That was my world. And it was a happy world. It was a happy world because there was no worry of the future, no struggle to achieve, no responsibility to succeed. Everything was done because it was fun. What ever made me happy was the thing i did most of the times, barring the occasional study hour !

Today, when i look at myself, i see a different person. I see a person who is hell bent on succeeding. Every hour of every day of every week, i am doing something which will make me successful in the future. I dont really like what i am doing, but i am so obscenely focussed on the end result, it doesnt matter to me anymore what i like and what i dont.
I dont like what i am turning into. I want to change. I need to change. I need to do things which make me happy. I need to concentrate on the present, I need to let the future figure itself out. If i am happy everyday of my life, my life is a success right !? i need to go the 'micro' way to happiness.

Is it going to be easy, no. But is it going to stop me from trying, hell no !!



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And then it hit me...

I am Jean Bernaad and i am the best tight-rope walker in the world. And as i plummet to my death, i can see the most wonderful rocky valley calling me into its ever wider arms. The valley almost seems a friend. A friend who is longing for me, pulling me towards it, what it doesnt realise is that it might kill me in the process. Not its fault really, its me who has been teasing it, taunting it almost daring it to kill me.
It all started a few years ago when a friend of mine, Jose, dared me to try something so dangerous, that is was always fatal ! I was a simple tight-rope walker in the local circus. I loved the job because it gave me a chance to travel and get the daily dose of adventure that i so craved. Although it didnt start out that way, it had become a passion for me by now. I was very good at it ! I could even do the rope walk without the balancing pole and sometimes, even without the safety net ! So when Jose told me about the crazy adventure, i was both scared out of my wits as well as intrigued. "Walk the rope in the Cook mountain valley without any safety nets !!" Jose said. The fear almost apparent in his voice as his face. The first time i tried the crazy stunt is vividly etched in my mind ! The fear was overpowering, and yet my body was completely at ease. Maybe it knew something my mind didnt. After the initial shock, the thrill and the adrenaline rush began to kick in. It was nothing like anything i had experienced in my life !! And once it was over, i was longing for another dose ! Somehow i resisted the temptation. Knowing fully well that one small misstep or a single gust of wind could turn fatal. But i found myself engulfed in the need, the want for adrenaline and adventure was too much and i went back there again and again. Cheating death at every step, taunting the beautiful valley which waits 8000 feet below me.
And what a beautiful valley it is. Covered with lush green forests on one side and bare barren unforgiving rock on the other. And clouds for company ! Brilliant, serene clouds ! It is a breathtaking sight if there ever was one. And as i fall into its arms today, my breath will be taken for good !
As i rush nearer to the ground, all these thoughts come rushing to my head. The beautiful face of my wife, my angelic daughter Mira ! O ! how i am going to miss them. I can see my parents now. I am probably hallucinating. They look young. Dad was never happy with what i had done in my life, and his grim contempt did nothing to betray his feelings about me. Mom looks calm, calmer than expected actually. I am dieing mom, your son is about to die. Dont you feel any sadness ? Then i realise something, maybe she is happy. Happy that i am coming to her. Finally, I can meet her. My life here never gave me the time, maybe the heavens will. Now i can see myself, my young self that is. I recognise the circus roof immediately. Its my first walk. I look as scared as a bunny. Idiot. Little do i realise that i am so good at this already. I dont need to be afraid. I am a natural on the rope. Balance, poise and concentration. Qualities that have never betrayed me till now.
Now. How did i fail today ? What went wrong ? I had performed all the necessary checks. My shoes are perfectly dry, the balancing pole is the same that i have used for so many years. There was no sudden gush of wind, no vibrations on the rope, then what went wrong ? How did i loose my balance ? Trying to remember every step of the way, i am still baffled. Every step, every little movement of every little sinew of my body. I remember seeing my wife standing at the other end. Waiting with bated breath for me to make it to her side. "This would be my last time", i had promised her that. Then we were going to abandon this dangerous life and settle down to a normal life. I have a daughter now, that changes perspective. She is a princess and i have to take care of her the best i can. But can i really live without this now ? Without the thrill, the constant adrenaline rush. Life is about doing what you love to do, isn't it. If i cant do what I love to do, want to do, hell, need to do, whats the use of living such a life.

And then it hit me....





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