It all started a few years ago when a friend of mine, Jose, dared me to try something so dangerous, that is was always fatal ! I was a simple tight-rope walker in the local circus. I loved the job because it gave me a chance to travel and get the daily dose of adventure that i so craved. Although it didnt start out that way, it had become a passion for me by now. I was very good at it ! I could even do the rope walk without the balancing pole and sometimes, even without the safety net ! So when Jose told me about the crazy adventure, i was both scared out of my wits as well as intrigued. "Walk the rope in the Cook mountain valley without any safety nets !!" Jose said. The fear almost apparent in his voice as his face. The first time i tried the crazy stunt is vividly etched in my mind ! The fear was overpowering, and yet my body was completely at ease. Maybe it knew something my mind didnt. After the initial shock, the thrill and the adrenaline rush began to kick in. It was nothing like anything i had experienced in my life !! And once it was over, i was longing for another dose ! Somehow i resisted the temptation. Knowing fully well that one small misstep or a single gust of wind could turn fatal. But i found myself engulfed in the need, the want for adrenaline and adventure was too much and i went back there again and again. Cheating death at every step, taunting the beautiful valley which waits 8000 feet below me.
And what a beautiful valley it is. Covered with lush green forests on one side and bare barren unforgiving rock on the other. And clouds for company ! Brilliant, serene clouds ! It is a breathtaking sight if there ever was one. And as i fall into its arms today, my breath will be taken for good !
As i rush nearer to the ground, all these thoughts come rushing to my head. The beautiful face of my wife, my angelic daughter Mira ! O ! how i am going to miss them. I can see my parents now. I am probably hallucinating. They look young. Dad was never happy with what i had done in my life, and his grim contempt did nothing to betray his feelings about me. Mom looks calm, calmer than expected actually. I am dieing mom, your son is about to die. Dont you feel any sadness ? Then i realise something, maybe she is happy. Happy that i am coming to her. Finally, I can meet her. My life here never gave me the time, maybe the heavens will. Now i can see myself, my young self that is. I recognise the circus roof immediately. Its my first walk. I look as scared as a bunny. Idiot. Little do i realise that i am so good at this already. I dont need to be afraid. I am a natural on the rope. Balance, poise and concentration. Qualities that have never betrayed me till now.
Now. How did i fail today ? What went wrong ? I had performed all the necessary checks. My shoes are perfectly dry, the balancing pole is the same that i have used for so many years. There was no sudden gush of wind, no vibrations on the rope, then what went wrong ? How did i loose my balance ? Trying to remember every step of the way, i am still baffled. Every step, every little movement of every little sinew of my body. I remember seeing my wife standing at the other end. Waiting with bated breath for me to make it to her side. "This would be my last time", i had promised her that. Then we were going to abandon this dangerous life and settle down to a normal life. I have a daughter now, that changes perspective. She is a princess and i have to take care of her the best i can. But can i really live without this now ? Without the thrill, the constant adrenaline rush. Life is about doing what you love to do, isn't it. If i cant do what I love to do, want to do, hell, need to do, whats the use of living such a life.
And then it hit me....
Mavdiary by Rhishikesh Joshi is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
