Princess

"And then the Princess was greeted by a handsome Prince who had arrived from a far off land to sweep the Princess off her feet ..."

"Cmon Alexis, we have to go now... say goodbye to daddy.... ". I was rudely brought back to my reality by that drab and evil voice of Mrs Goodison. She never had the appreciation of timing. " Atleast let me finish my story !! " i yelled. She though would have none of it. "No Mr Hatchet, Alexis has a school she needs to attend. She has to get her education, lest she turn out like you ! Do you want her to turn out like that ? Do you ?? "

And dats when it hit me... do i want her to turn out like me ? or do i want her to have a better childhood than i did ? I mean, how much can i really provide her with ? how much can a truck driver provide her with ... my lonely lowly existence was hard enuf to survive even for me.... how do i expect my princess to go through all that...

things were'nt all this bad when Stana was around. God ! i miss her... she was the thread of my life.... she kept everything together... even in her last days suffering from the cancer of the most heinous kind, she never lost hope and neither did she allow me to. She told me to take care of "Gods most precious git to us "... our daughter. Alexis... and now these people were going to take her away from me.... they think i am not gud enuf to raise my own daughter ? they want me to break my promise to my wife ? i cant let that happen... i just cant.... i have to think of something.... i have to find a better job, make a better life for my princess... but how.... who's going to give somebody like me a decent job.. some old beat up school dropout.... and without a job how will i support our existence... how will i give my child the magical kingdom of the kind i tell her abt every night.... they are right in taking her away aren't they ?!

No .... it cant be... i cannot lose... i cannot just watch as somebody else raises our daughter... what if they treat her badly... what if they destroy all the dreams which we had for her.... no... my daughter deserves her dad... she needs someone to take care of her just right... and that someone is me.... yes... it has to be me....

So, as i stand here near the dead lifeless body of Mrs Goodison, i am happy. I do not regret my actions. That bitch deserved to die. She was the one coming between me and my Alexis.... she had to die... and now as i wait for my daughter to come home, i know that a good life is waiting for us... i will make it happen... i will succeed...

Heart vs Mind

What follows is a very old poem which i just found written somewhere on the back of my college notes. I had quite the passion for writing abstract bad verse during the ever so boring lectures in engineering.

Think, my friend, think again !
Ignore the heart, it shant no gain
to thou.

The heart , a God , O ! so fickle ,
it hath no brains !! , will land thou,
in a pickle

It wants what it wants , it knows not the consequences.
The mind tells it to stop , still it advances,
to it's own peril.

The mind is right, the mind is cold !
The mind is safe , it ain't too bold.
The mind sees the colours, it ignores the beauty ,
of nature
It recognises the smell, it knows not the fragrance ,
of a Rose in bloom.
So,
think with the mind , it bringeth no gloom !!

Damsel in distress

it was friday i think... i dont really remember.. yeah it was friday... becos it was booze night... and i had a few too many that day... i was high as a bird !! it was around 1 in the morning and i was returning home when i saw her... i probably shudnt have stopped.... but she looked like a real mess... and i thought i shud help her... the booze clouding my judgement ... but anyways.. i did stop... and here wat happened bcos i did ...

i walked up to her to ask what was the problem... she was just standing there in the middle of nowhere late at night .. it was a dangerous place to be at... her clothes were all dirty and i noticed that there was a spot of red on the t-shirt too... "What is the matter ? What are you doing here so late at night ?" ... she didnt respond... may be she didnt want to talk to anyone... maybe she was just too scared... i asked again ... "What happened ? Can i help you ?" . "Shut up ! Just shut up ... dont try and get into what you dont understand.... You dont have the balls to even comprehend what the matter is .. let alone help me ....". Shit. That was out of the blue... try to help someone and you get this... But i didnt leave... any sane man wud have i know.. but after an entire bottle of antiquity .. i wasnt really very sane... "Please miss.. let me help you ... you look like u are in trouble..." . "Trouble !!? i am not the one in trouble... Its him you shud be helping really... if i have my way, he is going to be in a shitload of trouble....". "What ?? what are you talking about ? who is he ? what are planning to do ?"

She went quiet... maybe she had said too much. i was also too jolted to say anything. wat was this lady talking about ? wat was the horrible thing she was going to do if she had 'her way' ? she looked like a normal girl really... sharp features ... short crop of hair... tall... she was tall... and beautiful... god.. she was beautiful... maybe dats wat made me stop to help her... her face was radiant... and she looked confident... dats wat troubled me more.. something seemed amiss.. she wasnt the damsel in distress she shud have been... she looked like someone with a mission... focussed... and maybe wat she just said was the reason.. the mission... So i asked again. "What is the problem miss.. why are you here ? dont u have a home u need to go to ?".... and dats when i saw it... a tear rolling down her eyes... Home.... did something bad happen to her home ... probably someone robbed it... maybe it was destroyed or something ... " I had a home once... A happy home... Me , my kids and him. It was a gud place. A happy place... until that night... I am going to make him pay... i am going to kill him....". What ?? what was that women talking abt... was she out of her mind.... and wat was i still doing there... my concerns for her were now long gone and they were replaced by fear... fear for my own safety... i decided to leave... i didnt want anything to do with this... just as i started to go she thundered, " Where are you going ?! You cant leave now. If you leave then i wont be able to do wat i have planned... i will fail... and this time i dont want to fail... twice.. twice before i have tried to have my revenge... rightful revenge... but the bastard escaped... he had luck on his side... this time i wont fail... tonite is the end of him... his ghastly existence... He is a demon... a rotten hearted son of a bitch... killed his own daughter.... my daughter....". By now she was totally broken. "This time i have this .... and this time my hand wont hesitate to slice open his heart and watch it till it bleeds out the last drop of vicious poisonous blood in his body". The blade of the weapon was frighteningly sharp... and it was covered with blood... maybe it was used ?! used recently ?! shit... this was bad.. i needed to get out of there...

i tried to run.... just as i turned she caught hold of my throat.. brought the knife to my heart and shouted... "Where are you going bastard... dont you remember me ?! dont you remember your own wife.... Dont you remember our daughter screaming for her life as you stabbed her 13 times.... dont you remember coming up to me with this knife .... this very same knife and telling me that you were sorry.. that you had no choice but to kill us all lest anybody find out wat you had done... I tried to run away. I tried to run for my life... but i failed. The last stab near the heart was just too much... Instant death... ". And then suddenly i remembered... it was priya... shit... but she was dead wasnt she... i killed with my own hands... i killed her with that very knife....

Life in the times of FB

i am from a generation of youngistan who grew up (or atleast thght we did) with a heady dose of Orkut !!! thats right... u remember that right !!? orkut... those were the easy days... just befriend people u know... send them 'scraps' !!

Then something weird happened... orkut began being overtaken by voyeurs ... it became a haven for sick basterds to harass the living scrapbooks out of innocent orkuters !! ( atleast thats how i think it went ). So people who were really interested in the social networking side of the whole thing shifted base... they (we) migrated to FB !!

Suddenly the once dull and overcrowded UE of FB didnt matter anymore... it became simple sleek and effective !! applications were interesting ... comments and 'likes' even better !! it was a wonderful world again !!

Nowadays FB is everywhere ... everybody who is anybody has a FB profile. Even me :P

Suddenly social farming is the 'in' thing to do !!! the passion with which ppl play the mafia wars wud put Columbians to shame !! people are taking quizzes as if their social life depends on it !! joining 'important causes' to show their social awareness.. becoming fans of things that are soo absurd .. it not even funny any more ...take this for example ...

not sure who you are, but im drunk, so ill talk to you like your my friend

really ?? is this something u think about more than once ? best of luck with the rest of your life buddy....

Frankly .. i think this is getting a bit much... some status updates are so lame ... its hilarious.. they are just there for getting comments and 'likes' from people... some of them are not even original and the plagiarism is bordering on childish... people are actually copying status updates from others and putting it up as their own !!

so basically i dont like wat is happening to FB ... somehow it is becoming a place for ppl to live their alternate lives.. lives in which they are cool.. they are 'hep' .. they are 'liked' ... but none of it is real...

newazz... this is how i feel.. may be i am wrong.. i shudnt judge how othr ppl live their social lives shud i ... probably.. but .. this is my blog and i write wat i want !! so stuff it..

Treadmill

Phew... even beginning this blog seems to be a tiresome exercise... being as it is that i havent posted anything since last July !!! man that was long ago .. shitt..

Anyways.... better get to the point of my blog quickly...
Treadmill !!

Currently i have become obsessed with exercising... gymming .. cardios.. runs.. walkss... u name it.. i am doing it every week... but this is not abt that... its abt my life which seems to be like walking on a treadmill.. i am working hard... i am huffing and puffing.... i am sweaty and messed up.. but i aint getting anywhere !!!!

So let me explain the predicament that is my life... professionally (if you can even call , a year of working a job , that...) i am going nowhere.... i aint getting no big raise... i aint getting no big promotion... not that i expect it... since i am still the lowermost rung in the hierarchy... shitt....

personally... there is just nothin... zero .. zilch... i just get up... go to the gym.. come back.. go to the office.. come back... go to sleep.... very very happening na !! i know..... shitt...


future wise.. i am in a complete mess... i know i shud be taking further education.. but i just missed the bus this year... i didnt even show up at the bus-stop actually... but now that i think abt it.. its really scary... i dont really have a plan... shitt...


come to think of it... i am not doing much besides my work actually.... but how come i dont find time for anything else... i dont find time to play.. i dont find time to talk to friends.. i dont find time to laugh.... i dont find time to Live.... maybe its becos....


i really dont know why actually....

Junoon !!!

Wat do u think makes great men great !!! wat makes them 'tick ' !! wat is it that keeps Sachin Tendulkar going after 18 painstaking years of international professional sport ?!! wat made warren buffet and bill gates donate their life and their life's earnings to Humanitarian causes ?!! wat makes Ratan Tata look at a family of four struggling on a scooter and decide to take the boldest business idea of recent times ahead to its conclusion ?!!!! ( read Nano !!! )

the answer to all the questions above is... Passion... ( u c , i hav to spell it out to some of those induviduals we talked abt !! so.. P-A-S-S-I-O-N ...) passion.. dats wat it is... i think it is the single most important thing in any man's or woman's life... it is the Spark !!! everything else is gravy.. as they say...

so... wat shud one be passionate abt !!! donn ask me... ( i am as clueless as the next guy.. notice how i hav told u this at the end of my post !!! ) be passionate abt life !!! be passionate abt the tiniest little things u njoi doing in ur life !!! and once u discover dat passion... i guarantee u.. ur life will never be the same... the 'hardwork' , 'sincerity' , 'dedication' , the gravy bits.. will come naturally... and u life will be resounding Success !!!

Theory !!

Disclaimer - watever u r about to read is a proprietary (hope i hav got the spelling rite on dat one !! not dat n one of u Induhviduals will notice ) material. It is purely fictional at this point and any resemblance to any reality is purely due to my genius and not at all regretted !!

btw , disclaimers seem to be in fashion nowadays !! the broke-back couple of the year , dats the Nawaab and the Badshah , making it so the ' in ' thing to do !!!

Now back to my pathbreaking theory !!

this theory presents an alternate view of the existence of beings on this planet and the existence of god !! just think about this... for a very tiny creature like an ant or even a bird .. wat wud we humans be looking like !?!! how do u suppose they comprehend our existence ?!! we are perhaps the greatest force of change affecting their existence !! and they cant even control it , can they ?! i mean .. sure.. one of those tiger creatures tries to extract revenge by eating some of us .. but still its not enough of a fight back , is it !!! wat i am trying to say is.. to those creatures we are some uncontrollable force and creatures that they don't understand !! read that line again if u want , i ll wait !!

now , wat if this world is arranged as a maze of boxes one over the other !! these boxes aren't just ordinary boxes .. they are made of a sort of one way glass .. ones in which the people outside can see thru the glass but the people inside it dont see a thing.. nows the gud part !!!

imagine this , all creatures are arranged in this box structure.... ants worms and the like are in the innermost box. .. they cant see all dat well outside of their box... they cant comprehend wat a tiger is or wat a human is.. for them... the world is dat box and a small slit thru which they hav a very narrow vision of the 'outside ' box.... creatures like mice snakes etc are in a box encovering the smaller box and so on... u get the overall picture rite...

now.. u must think we humans are in the outermost box , and dat there exists no other box on top of us rite ?!! , no uncontrollable force , nothin dat we cant comprehend , which ironically is wat we humans think of as GOD !!! so..... consider this .. there are a number of god like creatures which live in a box enclosing our own !! they have tremendous powers to influence lives of creatures inside the inner boxes , which is common even to us humans , how many times have u thought of the ant dat killed , the cockroach that u flattened , with pleasure too , i am sure ... so , my point being , this doesnt seem to far fetched , does it ?!! its just dat god is someone who we cant comprehend , we cant understand as it is outside of our Box !!!

think about it ...