Hep and cool advice for the Uth !

In the same manner that people like Arindham Chaudhari share their "mantras" to success, today i ll share with this blog the basic principles which i have held very close to my heart as i wade through the shit that life throws at me !!

Do unto others as you would have others do unto them 
This is basically the definition of the typical herd mentality. If a bunch of your dumb friends are treating something in a particular manner, do the same. Dont think, dont ask questions and for heavens sake, dont contradict. You ll be dropped from the "group" like Shinney Ahuja from the household workers convention.

Never reveal what you really feel
This is just to avoid people from "opening up" to me ! I dont want to know what you think. I have enough shit of my own. Dont dump yours on me. Plus, what you may really feel or think might be really lame. Why risk embarassing yourself in front of the only handful of people who are dumb enough to tolerate you. Just not worth the risk i say, specially when some of you are really really hard to bear !

Drink, smoke, do drugs !
Go on, destroy your life. How do i care. If you are dumb enough to put that shit in your body in the first place, the world is better off without people like you. Do all of these, do them all at once, do them in large doses ! the quicker you get out of here, the better.

Always try to be "different" from the crowd.
This ones a bit tricky. Many "life coaches" will have you believe that different is better, different will succeed. Bollywood is rife with directors whose story is a bit "haTke" from the run of the mill stuff. Wonder how the same kind of crap lands up in the final print. Maybe its the editors, maybe they are the ones sabotaging these gifted filmmakers. Anyways, the point is, be different, be unique. Specially when the rest of the crowd is more intelligent and way more gifted than you are. Be dumb, be stupid. Atleast you will be able to catch the eye. A losers sad lifestory always has buyers, and a few sellers too (if ya know wat i mean !).

Dont work hard
Working hard is for workers. People with no talent. Remember, you are special. You were born with only half a brain ! Dont worry, that is still a talent. When you have sucked out all the goodies that you could "parasite" off your parents, move on to a dumb job in some dumb company. No other company is going to hire you anyways. Tell people that this has been your life long dream. Even if the money is not that good, you dont mind because the satisfaction is immense.

Dont be nice.
Throw those manners, if you have any in the first place, in the nearest dust bin you have around. Even if there isnt one, just throw it anywhere you please. Remember, you dont have manners, so no need to worry. Manners make you look ol fashioned. They dont "go well" with your recently acquired hep and dont-give-a-damn attitude. Even if other people find you rude, not to worry. Its better to let people think you are rude rather than to let them realise you are a dumbass fool; really. Ask Raghu the eternal Roadie. "He has what it takes !"


There are a lot more to come. I aint done y'all . Dont worry !




Mavdiary by Rhishikesh Joshi is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Kaagaz ki kashtii

Ye daulat bhi lelo, ye shauhrat bhi lelo,
bhale chhin lo mujhse meri jawaani.
Magar mujhko lautaa do bachpan ka saawan, woh kaagaz ki kashtii wo barish ka paani,
Woh kaagaz ki kasthii, wo barish ka paani

Is that offer still valid ? Can i give up all that i have for something that was so simple yet so joyous ? Can i exchange all that i have gained or atleast think i have gained, for those childhood days ?

As i look at my childhood photographs, i am drowning deeper into nostalgia. I see all of my friends, all of my playgrounds and all the wonderful times i spent with the both of them. The world was such a simple place. The world wasnt really such an intimidating concept. It was just three things, the school; the home; and the playground. That was my world. And it was a happy world. It was a happy world because there was no worry of the future, no struggle to achieve, no responsibility to succeed. Everything was done because it was fun. What ever made me happy was the thing i did most of the times, barring the occasional study hour !

Today, when i look at myself, i see a different person. I see a person who is hell bent on succeeding. Every hour of every day of every week, i am doing something which will make me successful in the future. I dont really like what i am doing, but i am so obscenely focussed on the end result, it doesnt matter to me anymore what i like and what i dont.
I dont like what i am turning into. I want to change. I need to change. I need to do things which make me happy. I need to concentrate on the present, I need to let the future figure itself out. If i am happy everyday of my life, my life is a success right !? i need to go the 'micro' way to happiness.

Is it going to be easy, no. But is it going to stop me from trying, hell no !!



Mavdiary by Rhishikesh Joshi is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

And then it hit me...

I am Jean Bernaad and i am the best tight-rope walker in the world. And as i plummet to my death, i can see the most wonderful rocky valley calling me into its ever wider arms. The valley almost seems a friend. A friend who is longing for me, pulling me towards it, what it doesnt realise is that it might kill me in the process. Not its fault really, its me who has been teasing it, taunting it almost daring it to kill me.
It all started a few years ago when a friend of mine, Jose, dared me to try something so dangerous, that is was always fatal ! I was a simple tight-rope walker in the local circus. I loved the job because it gave me a chance to travel and get the daily dose of adventure that i so craved. Although it didnt start out that way, it had become a passion for me by now. I was very good at it ! I could even do the rope walk without the balancing pole and sometimes, even without the safety net ! So when Jose told me about the crazy adventure, i was both scared out of my wits as well as intrigued. "Walk the rope in the Cook mountain valley without any safety nets !!" Jose said. The fear almost apparent in his voice as his face. The first time i tried the crazy stunt is vividly etched in my mind ! The fear was overpowering, and yet my body was completely at ease. Maybe it knew something my mind didnt. After the initial shock, the thrill and the adrenaline rush began to kick in. It was nothing like anything i had experienced in my life !! And once it was over, i was longing for another dose ! Somehow i resisted the temptation. Knowing fully well that one small misstep or a single gust of wind could turn fatal. But i found myself engulfed in the need, the want for adrenaline and adventure was too much and i went back there again and again. Cheating death at every step, taunting the beautiful valley which waits 8000 feet below me.
And what a beautiful valley it is. Covered with lush green forests on one side and bare barren unforgiving rock on the other. And clouds for company ! Brilliant, serene clouds ! It is a breathtaking sight if there ever was one. And as i fall into its arms today, my breath will be taken for good !
As i rush nearer to the ground, all these thoughts come rushing to my head. The beautiful face of my wife, my angelic daughter Mira ! O ! how i am going to miss them. I can see my parents now. I am probably hallucinating. They look young. Dad was never happy with what i had done in my life, and his grim contempt did nothing to betray his feelings about me. Mom looks calm, calmer than expected actually. I am dieing mom, your son is about to die. Dont you feel any sadness ? Then i realise something, maybe she is happy. Happy that i am coming to her. Finally, I can meet her. My life here never gave me the time, maybe the heavens will. Now i can see myself, my young self that is. I recognise the circus roof immediately. Its my first walk. I look as scared as a bunny. Idiot. Little do i realise that i am so good at this already. I dont need to be afraid. I am a natural on the rope. Balance, poise and concentration. Qualities that have never betrayed me till now.
Now. How did i fail today ? What went wrong ? I had performed all the necessary checks. My shoes are perfectly dry, the balancing pole is the same that i have used for so many years. There was no sudden gush of wind, no vibrations on the rope, then what went wrong ? How did i loose my balance ? Trying to remember every step of the way, i am still baffled. Every step, every little movement of every little sinew of my body. I remember seeing my wife standing at the other end. Waiting with bated breath for me to make it to her side. "This would be my last time", i had promised her that. Then we were going to abandon this dangerous life and settle down to a normal life. I have a daughter now, that changes perspective. She is a princess and i have to take care of her the best i can. But can i really live without this now ? Without the thrill, the constant adrenaline rush. Life is about doing what you love to do, isn't it. If i cant do what I love to do, want to do, hell, need to do, whats the use of living such a life.

And then it hit me....





Mavdiary by Rhishikesh Joshi is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

What happens next ?

It was a typical summers afternoon in a small town in Texas. The heat was unbearable. But he had no choice. He had a job to do. Twenty jobs, to be precise. Doug was a tv repair guy for an electronics store. He was your typical average joe. A hard grind through life, struggling to make ends meet. The only family he had was his mother with whom he lived. But lately, even she was becoming a burden for him. Constantly ill, never happy, always crying and shouting and writhing in the pain of the cancerous disease that afflicted her. He could hardly afford her medicines. Doug hated his life. He was uncomfortable with every aspect of his life. And it was this afternoon that his desperation turned to sadism.

Doug had first his taste of blood that afternoon. A farmer in Texas whom he beat up to death with a baseball bat.  How that farmer must be wishing his TV wasn't broken that day. But it was something else about that man which triggered Doug's actions. It reminded him of his own father. An abusive drunken man who abandoned his own family because he just couldn't handle the responsibility. Abandoned his own son, abandoned his wife who loved him even though he beat her black and blue after every drunken tirade of his. That day, Doug felt strong. He felt empowered. That man deserved to die, he said to himself.  And the revenge felt almost like a drug. And he needed more of it.

That summer, Doug went on to kill twenty five other people. He was almost impeccable with his skills. He left no evidence. No witnesses. Just the baseball bat. That became his signature. The county sheriff was out of his wits trying to find the "baseball bludgeoner ". Doug was busy preparing for his day ahead. He only had five repair jobs today and he had his baseball bat with him.

Meanwhile, in another part of town, Billy was just about to begin another one of his break-ins. He was a robber. Breaking into peoples houses. Snatching whatever he could before the inhabitants showed up and disappearing into thin air. Typically. But there were also many houses which weren't so easy, so peaceful. Sometimes the owners showed up too early, and when they saw Billy, they just panicked. Sometimes they tried to fight back. Billy did not like that one bit. He even told them to stop or else. Else he would have to make them stop. Billy was never proud of the people he killed. But if they just would listen. If only they would have let him take everything and leave. They didn't understand. Billy was hoping he didn't have to use his gun today. The owners were out. He had seen them leave in their car. Probably on their way to an afternoon lunch and some shopping.

He broke in. These houses were becoming almost too easy for Billy. Tripping the alarms was a bit tricky, but he had mastered the technique. Billy looked around. This was always an exciting moment for him. Scanning the house for valuables. Picking whatever caught his fancy. He was just about to enter the bedroom when he heard a noise. He heard someone talking. Yes. Someone was in the house. He began rushing towards the bedroom. Just as he entered the room, he saw her. A young girl, barely thirteen, holding a phone in her hand. What did she do ! "Did you just call the police ?" He roared. "You shouldn't have." But she was too scared to say anything. Just then he heard the the door open. Did she call her parents ? Billy went into the living to check. And his worst fears came true. There in front of him stood the owners of the house. And the husband was just about to use his phone. The following few moments were like a blur. And when it all ended, Billy was standing there with the gun in his hand, two shells at his foot and just one thought in his head. If only the man had listened to him. Why did he need to call the police. Now his daughter will have to suffer the consequences. She will have to go through life without her parents. And all because her father didn't listen.
Billy was rudely brought out of the shock by the doorbell. Who could it be ? The police ? Did the father manage to call them ? Could it be the neighbors ? Billy was too shocked to be thinking straight. He probably shouldn't have opened the door. But he did. "Hi ! I am Doug. I am here to repair your Tv. Could I come in ?"


Mavdiary by Rhishikesh Joshi is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Second coming

Dear diary,

As i write this, i know i am going to die any day now. He is surely going to kill me. I have seen it in his eyes. I have seen the hatred, i have seen the hurt and most importantly, the revenge which seethes his soul.

As i look back on my life, all i remember is May 26th 1980. That was the day my fate was sealed. As i heard the words "we the jury find the defendant guilty of voluntary manslaughter and arson and hereby sentence him to life imprisonment", i was almost too calm. I knew what i had done. I wasn't hopeful of my freedom. I had given up on life a long time ago. I was probably dead inside already. These people will only put a body in prison, the soul is already freed, i thought to myself. I was so wrong.

The first few years in prison were horrible. They almost made me wish for death. But as the days went by, i grew comfortable with the prison life. It became routine. The constant fear for life, the almost unbearable pain and the humiliation, all became routine. I had found my own set of friends, if you could call them that. One of them was a serial killer, one was a bank robber. Some others were rapists. And i was the arsonist. All in all, it was good bunch of people.

Then one day, we had guests. New inmates. And as we watched them enter the walls of this hell hole we called home, we could see the eternal hope in their eyes. They still had the fight in them. They were still angry. It will go away soon, just give them a few years. I hadn't noticed him then. Johnny that is. Not that it would have mattered. He would have found me anyway.

I met Johnny during one of our construction hours. He was as old as my boy would have been now. Give or take a few years. And there was something about this boy. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Maybe he reminded me of my own little boy. No. I shouldn't think about it, i told myself. But the resemblance was almost too eerie. As time went by, he grew comfortable around us. He was part of our group. He was an intelligent boy, he told us how he had successfully robbed many a bank with his deception and con skills. It was only this one last time, he said, that something went wrong. Maybe someone from the group had ratted or something. He didn't know, he said. As i look back now, maybe it wasn't a mistake. Of course it wasn't. He just wanted to get in here somehow. To put an end to his misery and anger. To finish what i had started 20 years ago.

As i was taking a shower yesterday, he came to me. "You are here for killing your family isn't it !?" how did he know that, i though to myself. I hadn't told anybody about it. I was probably afraid of telling myself of what i had done. "Your wife Melinda and your son Bob, right !? You remember that night don't you ? You remember how you strangled mom before you slit her throat and watched her die. You remember me crying while i sat next to her lifeless body ? You remember putting fire to the house , your own house ?!". How could he possibly know that ? It couldn't be. I was sure i had burned the house and everything inside it down to ashes. How could he have escaped. "Is that you Bobby ?" i asked. "Did you survive that night ?". "No dad, i couldn't. I couldn't escape, i didn't want to leave mom just by herself. I was scared for her. I wanted to be there by her side." "Then who are you ? My son is dead isn't he ?". "Yes dad, consider this my second coming. And now you will get what you deserve. My revenge will be done."

As i write this, i know i am going to die any day now. He is surely going to kill me. I have seen it in his eyes. I have seen the hatred, i have seen the hurt and most importantly, the revenge which seethes his soul.

Princess

"And then the Princess was greeted by a handsome Prince who had arrived from a far off land to sweep the Princess off her feet ..."

"Cmon Alexis, we have to go now... say goodbye to daddy.... ". I was rudely brought back to my reality by that drab and evil voice of Mrs Goodison. She never had the appreciation of timing. " Atleast let me finish my story !! " i yelled. She though would have none of it. "No Mr Hatchet, Alexis has a school she needs to attend. She has to get her education, lest she turn out like you ! Do you want her to turn out like that ? Do you ?? "

And dats when it hit me... do i want her to turn out like me ? or do i want her to have a better childhood than i did ? I mean, how much can i really provide her with ? how much can a truck driver provide her with ... my lonely lowly existence was hard enuf to survive even for me.... how do i expect my princess to go through all that...

things were'nt all this bad when Stana was around. God ! i miss her... she was the thread of my life.... she kept everything together... even in her last days suffering from the cancer of the most heinous kind, she never lost hope and neither did she allow me to. She told me to take care of "Gods most precious git to us "... our daughter. Alexis... and now these people were going to take her away from me.... they think i am not gud enuf to raise my own daughter ? they want me to break my promise to my wife ? i cant let that happen... i just cant.... i have to think of something.... i have to find a better job, make a better life for my princess... but how.... who's going to give somebody like me a decent job.. some old beat up school dropout.... and without a job how will i support our existence... how will i give my child the magical kingdom of the kind i tell her abt every night.... they are right in taking her away aren't they ?!

No .... it cant be... i cannot lose... i cannot just watch as somebody else raises our daughter... what if they treat her badly... what if they destroy all the dreams which we had for her.... no... my daughter deserves her dad... she needs someone to take care of her just right... and that someone is me.... yes... it has to be me....

So, as i stand here near the dead lifeless body of Mrs Goodison, i am happy. I do not regret my actions. That bitch deserved to die. She was the one coming between me and my Alexis.... she had to die... and now as i wait for my daughter to come home, i know that a good life is waiting for us... i will make it happen... i will succeed...

Heart vs Mind

What follows is a very old poem which i just found written somewhere on the back of my college notes. I had quite the passion for writing abstract bad verse during the ever so boring lectures in engineering.

Think, my friend, think again !
Ignore the heart, it shant no gain
to thou.

The heart , a God , O ! so fickle ,
it hath no brains !! , will land thou,
in a pickle

It wants what it wants , it knows not the consequences.
The mind tells it to stop , still it advances,
to it's own peril.

The mind is right, the mind is cold !
The mind is safe , it ain't too bold.
The mind sees the colours, it ignores the beauty ,
of nature
It recognises the smell, it knows not the fragrance ,
of a Rose in bloom.
So,
think with the mind , it bringeth no gloom !!